My Tuesday spiritual group started working on a workbook about self-compassion called the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristen Neff and Christopher Germer. We read a bit in the workbook and then answered three questions: 1. How do you show compassion to friends – what do you say, how is your body language, what do you do, etc. 2. How do you show compassion to yourself? 3. What is the difference between the two.
I did #1 and it was easy. I started #2, and was shocked – the differences were so dramatic between 1 and 2. While I was supportive, nonjudgmental, open-hearted and soft to others, I was critical, judgmental, stern, shut down and harsh with myself. While I avoided using terms such as “you should do this or that” with others, I would immediately go into “you should have done this or you should do that” with myself. The differences were so dramatic, that it made me sad because I realized this is how I was with myself every single day! That is a lot of self-abuse. And I didn’t even realize the extent of it. Yes, I knew that I was not always the nicest to myself, we are often our worst enemies – but to beat myself up so much when I am so capable of deep compassion for others – it’s a travesty.
And I wasn’t alone, most of the others in the group were the same. They showed immense deep compassion for others daily but were like battering sticks with themselves.
I can’t seem to get self-compassion off of my mind this week. What I also realized is that in my work as an Intuitive Coach, I spend a lot of time teaching others about self-compassion, how to love and accept themselves as they are. And I am really good at it!
I feel driven to dig deeper into self-compassion. I am on a mission for more self-compassion and I don’t know yet what that means, but I am committed. Stay tuned for more!
If you are committed to discovering your self-compassion and need help shifting the voice in your head, then contact me for a session!
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